Could Not get out of bed today....

The air is heavy and it hurts to breathe....maybe tomorrow will be lighter....

What does a good parent look like???

Some parents say the those parents parents who "do time outs" are letting their kids rule their homes, that there is lack of dicipline. They chuckle at the struggle we have with how to dicipline other then corporal punishment. Some parents who choose not to spank or follow the hallowed Dr. Dobson feel that the "other" parents are trying to made their kids sqeaze into some sort of mold, even if the child did not fit or even bleeds because of it...

We all have our bagage and we can learn from it... but we can move it from our luguage cart onto the cart of our kids if we are not careful. What do I want for my kids??? I want them to feel like the essance of who they are is good, to know that no matter what they think or feel that their parents will be there. It does not mean we agree or condone but we are there. I want them to develop their minds and creativity unhampered. I want them to be brillent with people, read them, understand them, feel compassion for those around them.

I also want them to love me, think of me fondly, not with anger or hurt. I want them to respect me and my choices.

We really can make BIG mistakes with kids, mistakes that plauge them for life...how does God fit in? My parents prayed for me alot and I made some good choices that did not make sense unless you recogize God's part in it all - by way of my parents prayer...Prayer is NOT enough! God gives usn thoughts and brains and expects us to use them..hoe much do you intervine and how much do yoy trust God and stand back?


hmmm I feel overwhemed...better go find that ice cream again....


bla

So..I had a baby and now I am a milk factory!

I had a baby, she is beautiful and good and doesn't cry too much...but she is almost four weeks old and I am nursing every 2.5-3 hrs and I feel very cow like, I smell like sour milk, have bags under my eyes and I am fat and all I want to do is eat ice cream and watch skinny beautiful women on TV and wish I were them...no clothes fit, I have no money to buy clothes...went to Sally Annes to buy clothes and couldn't even find clothes to fit me there!!!!

Where is the balance? Many women say there is no balance at this stage in life, a small baby phase. I want to nurse but feel so trapped...I don't want to be fat...I don't want to wake up every 3 hours and be so grumpy because I am tried all the time. Then people get annoyed with you because you are grummpy...are you getting up every 3 hours???? If you were you would be grumpy too...

ARHHHHH...what was I thinking..I am so too old for this.

As my friend R. said, you asked for it, you wanted to have a baby! This is true and I am sure that I will soon blog about the amazing experience of being a mother to a small baby but right now....pass the ice cream!!!