LIfe Really SUCKS!!!!

Fuck, shit, damn and any other word that might work! I feel crappy, I hate my life and I don't want to live it. I was just watching TV and wishing that I was someone else, someone on that screen, not me. I am grumpy, fat, hormonal and poor and I hate all these things. Then I hear this voice in the back of my head that says I should be greatful for life, I should be gratefull that I can walk and talk and have my faculties, do I have my faculties?? I am not sure...I feel crippled all the time by a feeling of uselessness and an overwhelming sense of anger. Why anger?? I don't know I feel so incrediblly angery and I can't see to stop because I don't know where it is coming from. I want it to stop and I can't seem to numb myself enought to make it go away no matter what I do.. Ok enough self pity but I had to say it somehow. Where is God? What is contentment? Where is this peace that passes understanding, I haven't seen for a long time!